Today I did my last high school audition.

Oh ‘twas bitter sweet: the nerves, the anxiety, the shakes the squeaks. It is all part of the process of getting to show off the talent I believe I have. I’m not gonna lie I loved this way of auditioning. Here’s a visual:

A single spotlight in the center of the stage, and considering the walls are black and the back of the curtains are black, the floor looks like it may swallow you. Your eyes lock on the x’ed yellow tape in the center of the light. An old friend leads you toward the circle and winks good luck before leaving to control the camera.

“Hello [name], which would you like to do first: monologue or song?”

Obviously you chose song, it’s been stuck in your head all day and you’ve been working on it and it’ll be breeze. The accompanist tells you to lead her through the song and she’ll just mash out the chords. Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t pace, don’t pace, you are the character, remember you were flat…. here! Be more genuine with your smile. Enjoy your words. Your nerves jump when you look at them so your eyes flit just over them but you get to end and just find the right note to finish the song. Oh know… the monologue.

It was the silent hope that she would take your word for it, but obviously she wants to hear you. It’s now that you realize that it was easier to help others with this but you seem to be too out of it to really catch your breath. It goes by slower then you think but you stay at the slow, agonizing temp so that you don’t seem nervous. She cuts you off- release. She was coughing, a cold, and apologizes releasing you.

You leave the safety of the single spotlight and get swallowed by the darkness. The same old friend holds the door open in silence. There are jokes in the hallway but there is still worry. “How’d you do?” “Did it go well?” “What’d you do?”

Home. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. And then this: